I did run somewhere between 7 and 11km of my usual 16k loop around the reservoir on Sunday though. It wasn't a constant run after the 4km mark as my left knee has been unhappy since my first run at Camp Calvin on the Monday morning. I have NO idea what I have done to it. Physio seems to be getting it back on track to a degree.
Mentally I was more than prepared for this run. I was ready to knock this sucker out of the park. I was using it towards a 10mile virtual race (16.1km), a training incentive to help me work on both distance and time together, to help me get to 'bigger and better' things. I was ready! I was ready to smash this sucker out of the park and to run the 'loop' faster than I have ever run it before.
I was optimistic. I guess I was a little too optimistic! I smashed out the first 4km in record speed for me and then everything kind of fell apart. I went from the prospect of setting a new 5km PR to my slowest 5k split time to date. It was bad! Really bad! My knee buckled for lack of a better word. Something pinched and it hurt. A few hopping steps to slow down and I knew that was pretty much the end of my blistering pace (I was averaging 4:30mins/kilometer. A normal run for me is about 5:50/km most runners that I know in town that aren't elites struggle to keep the pace under 7mins/km). I was done. My brain was still on over drive - go go go - but this time it was my body that threw in the towel.
I was mildly shattered to put it lightly. After the 3k mark there really is no turn around point in this loop. Sure you could turn around in the literal sense and walk back to your vehicle/starting point. If however you decided to go forward, it was at least another 4km before the next possible pick-up point if you had any issues. I figured that I was here for a race and I wasn't leaving until I knocked out my full 16km. I'm not going to lie, it hurt! Physically it was going to be a struggle to make it around the wonderfully hilly route when anything other than flat seemed to set my left leg into a world of hurt. Shooting pain up and down my leg starting from the knee with any sort of incline suggested I was in for a really good, long and painful slog. Mentally I was kicking myself in the butt. How could I be so ready and then crumble after only 4 something kilometers? Well... it happened! That also mean I had another 12km to fight with myself! SO much fun!
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| I did better than someone ...about 3.5km into my run everyone had to pull off the path to make room for an ambulance that had to come up from the Weaselhead. I hope whoever they had to go in and haul out is okay! While not 'dangerous' it has to be at least mildly difficult trying to get someone out of the Weaselhead area given the steepness of some of the paths and the low overhang of trees. Hopefully the person(s) were not too seriously hurt/injured! |
While fighting with myself mentally, I was allowing my knee time to relax and chill out a bit. Afterall, on the flats (there are some, not many, but some!) the pain would go away and I could walk normally. When I pinched my LCL after sideswiping an ice block with my right leg in early March, I had a hard time walking period. I could still walk without a pinch so I was hoping I was just having a minor setback. I tried running again. I was able to last for little spurts between 6 and 8km and stopped again to walk when things were starting to feel a bit out of sorts. I survived the big hill, granted, I walked it and it pinched from time to time...but I made it! At least I didn't have to suffer the "pleeeeeaaaase come get me" phone call of tears and shame! I made the big hill so I was going to finish the last 8km of this bloody loop!
The top section between the big hill and the canoe club is relatively flat. I regained my composure and decided, still beating myself up mentally, that maybe I was doing something stupid. Maybe my form had changed and I was doing something to set my knee off? I wasn't willing to given into the fact that I still had 8km to go and that I'd be walking the bulk of it. It wasn't allowed to happen. I made it to kilometer 11 (not bad...!) paying close attention to my technique and taking the time to work on my fore-foot strike. My pace was undoubtedly slow (for me, I was pushing 6:40 mins/kilometer) but I wasn't about to give up. I made it to the canoe club and once again leapfrogged the same couple I had passed at least another four times on the path. They were also running. I blew past them in my first 4km then they caught up to me... then I passed them a couple of times in the Weaselhead and they did the same. I lost them at the hill (go figure) and thought that was the end of that. HA, then I passed them at the boat club!
There was a slight incline after the boat club. The incline is slow and gradual leading up to Crowchild and Glenmore. It's noticable visually but when running it really isn't too bad. At this point my knee decided it had had enough. Another good pinch on my downward step left me to do another few hopping steps to bring myself back to a crawl. What a pain in the patooy! I'd fought it out for nearly 12km and finally had to resign myself to the fact that the rest of the 'course' was hills. I was walking! I still had a fabulous four more kilometers to hang my head and walk. Slowly. Very slowly!
It's not the end of the world of course! I was disappointed with myself for being so confident in my knee post week of intense physio. I was also happy that I didn't give up and turn back after the first four kilometers, after all I still need to do some sort of activity to keep myself in shape. Additionally, I also needed to keep myself on my feet for as long as possible. The only way to train for longer run distances is to do it on your feet! 16k isn't terribly shy of 20 which in turn is really darn close to a half marathon. I need a time somewhere under 1h 50m for my next race. My goal was 1h 45m. I think what was hurting me more than my knee was knowing the possibility of breaking 1h50m in exactly three weeks time is pretty much out of the question. It's not impossible but improbable. This thought on its on means I will be required to find another certified half marathon sometime in the last two weeks of September so it doesn't conflict with my big races in October.
Brilliant! Three days later and I still find myself in a bit of a bind and doing the math to see just how hard I would have to push to get the time I need on the 25th given any number of different race scenarios. My fingers are crossed that my knee behaves and I can just go for it!
Anyways, to wrap things up a bit...
My motto for running - keep going and keep smiling! When you stop enjoying it, don't do it! Despite the pain of my knee (especially in the last 3km of solid roller coaster-like hills... ask me how much fun that was!) there was no way I was about quit. I came out for a reason. While I couldn't smash my run off the the charts, I was still there for a race. A virtual race in my books is still a race! It might not count towards anything in the grand scheme of things but until you REALLY do one, you don't know their value as training incentive. They are there for your time of need and they are designed to push you.
I am extremely goal driven. I don't give up. I don't think I have a quit or off button. Someone forgot to design one for me when I was being assembled! It's both a blessing and a curse! I will fight until I get something but it also means I get really frustrated in the process before I get to the final 'ah ha.' To get through things I usually grit my teeth and just smile. For running this means I may not physically enjoy the process but I'm sure going to find a way to make myself enjoy it mentally. Smiling is usually a good start! ***don't try this with archery though.... smiling is a really good way to throw off one's anchor point! Laughter is also bad and tends to throw arrows way off target!!!
If I can force myself to smile, I can force myself to find the good and enjoy something. Even if it is something small like a minor success or smiling at the baby ducks chasing after each other, there is always something to smile about. Heck, on this run I was thrilled to stay a few strides in front of the ominous thunderheads that were trying very hard to dampen my spirits...and maybe my socks/shoes!
With that, you can always tell who the real runners are. When you are out walking along the parkways or paths in your area, the real runners are the ones who are smiling or take the time to smile. The rest are just "want to be" runners that take pleasure in having people look at 'how good they are.' I'm not saying this to be mean... more often than not it's true. Go for a run and test it out yourself! It doesn't matter how fast or slow you are or how 'skinny' you are or aren't. Just run. Simile at the runners that pass you and make your own judgement call.
That brings me to the following from a fellow runner, Alice. This is why it is possible to push and keep going when you are ready to 'quit.'
I love a smile, nod or wave... even a "hi!" It's what makes us feel like we belong to the running community. Keep smiling Saskia!
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